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| My sister (right) and me at an audition for a TV show |
Things have just kept getting better these past few weeks. I think about cigarettes far less often than I ever have since quitting, I've been exercising almost every day, and I finally quit raiding in WoW!
About a month ago I felt confident enough in my resolve to stay away from cigarettes that I decided I was ready to add something else to my "list" of life changes or new habits. Luckily we have an elliptical at our home so almost every day since then I have been exercising on that elliptical. Today I hit my new PR with 61 minutes on it! I've already mentioned the beautiful shock I received at seeing how much healthier my lungs already were, but lately it feels like my ankles are starting to heal as well. I honestly never would have thought working out would have helped. I'm only going by how early/often in the workout I feel them hurting and today for example, they only hurt once at the beginning. I wish I had the money to get them checked out by a doctor because I'd love to see if in fact they are getting better or if not, how to help them heal finally.
But the biggest happiness I'm feeling today is from WoW. I know this time around I never quite felt the pull of the game as strongly as I had in the past, but up until my cruise in January I still enjoyed raiding. It felt like overnight I had changed and just simply wasn't interested anymore. The never-ending carrot on a string finally lost its appeal. But I don't think that it really happened overnight. I think quitting smoking, committing to work for my Dad, and exercising all played a part.
Here's where it gets crazy for me. This isn't just happening with WoW raiding, it's happening for ALL games! It is really such a big and quick 180 degree flip that I'm almost worried that it's so drastic that something else is going on, or that it won't last long. I did come to realize though that for years and years, gaming was my way to escape. And while I knew this was happening, I never know just how many things I was losing out on.
Now each day I wake up and can immediately think of 10 things that I can do to improve myself or my surroundings. Around the house there are rooms to clean, things to organize, half finished projects that I can complete, and so much more. Then there are errands I could run or items that need to be picked up. There is a never ending amount of work I can be helping my dad with. Social media is a massive dense jungle and you can be running around in there 24/7 but still have more you could do.
I've got lists now! Lists for things to be done online, lists for things that I need to remember to buy, and even lists for things I really want to buy but don't have the money for like a new phone or this cool scale. And of course each day I need to make sure I eat healthy meals and get my exercise in. Now I know there are a lot of people that do that much every day plus work for 8 hours so I'm not exactly calling myself Wonder Woman here, but I am extremely proud of how far I've come.
With all these things to do... with so many different ways I can improve my life each day, I just don't want to waste time on games. Especially games that require I log on certain days or else I let down other people. Why did I ever think that would be okay again? I had this feeling of dead certainty when I quit smoking this time, and I have that same feeling about raiding now. That is it, I am done. I haven't been interested in playing much of any game this past month, but even if that returns in time I know without a doubt that I will never be a raider again. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually feel giddy about my freedom, as if I just got out of jail!
Oh I've already written so much but I need to talk about another major accomplishment I had yesterday. I went with my sister to audition for the TV show Minute To Win It. And wow, just wow I was so proud of myself. I want to talk about it in detail next post because it really was a great victory for me.
Until next time :)
Alexandra
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